When does dating become a relationship?

You get your first inklings of the commitment issue when you are introduced to her friends as "my partner".

This may lead to angry whispered words in the kitchen later, or meaningful kisses in the moonlight depending on how you read this calender event.

The WIYFBS Question

This one comes next, or sometimes precedes the "my partner" introduction, usually after about six to eight weeks of dinner dates, weekend stay overs and your attendance at least one significant family celebratory event like Christmas or her sister's engagement party.

It's the "Why is your Facebook status still single?" question.

And it may catch you unawares. Most guys just blunder along from week to week, patting themselves on the back for having this great gal in their lives, unaware of the ticking commitment time bomb.

"What do you mean? I'm still single, aren't I? We're just dating aren't we?"

By the way, this spluttered protest is a no no and best kept deep under wraps as internal dialogue.

Correct answer: breezy laugh followed by: "Oh, that! I've been so busy with you, you gorgeous thing, I haven't had time for Facebook..." Don't crawl out on a shaky limb, by the way. If you've been frenetically messaging and posting on your profile night after night, you will be caught out.

Having neatly diverted the WIYFBS question, scramble! Ask your trusted girlfriends or female work colleagues for advice.The conversation will go something like this:

"We've been dating for six weeks and she wants me to change my Facebook status. I'm not in a relationship, am I ?"

"Are you seeing anybody else?"

"No, of course not."

"You're in a relationship."

"Oh"

Your finger hovers over the mouse, then you click."In A Relationship" An image of sand running through the hourglass from "Days Of Our Lives" swirls in your mind.

Is Six Months an Anniversary?

She'll be moody one day.

Six months have passed and you did not commemorate the date with a special dinner, flowers, a gift.

In fact you weren't even aware of it.

Who celebrates six months? Isn't it twelve?

Do not, repeat, do not verbalize this thought. Or say it and reap the whirlwind.

It may be a great opportunity to clear the air about where you two are heading and lay cards on the table.

Gals need a significant gesture of commitment and some idea of forward direction at this stage.

Most guys just need an extension of their probation but can benefit from the painfully accurate cataloging of their shortcomings that accompanies the whirlwind.

If they are honest with themselves they will detect a pattern from previous relationships and grow from the six months purging.

You will inevitably set up:

The twelve months gateway

Like a disciplinary session with the boss, parent, or other authority figure, once the initial whirlwind is spent, a future review date is set to revisit your performance and make a final decision on your prospects at that time.

The gal sees it as enough time for you to lift your game and put your shoulder to the sledge of commitment.

The guy thinks: "Wow! That first six shot by - I can do another six months probation easy..."

Be warned. If you go back to not buying flowers, not hiding chocolates under her pillow and not leaving touching cards with quotes lifted from Omar Khayyam in her handbag you are just delaying the inevitable.

The whirlwind will be back and you will reap it twofold sooner than you think and on a day you did not remember.

The Commitment Time Line is inevitable as taxes, pops up at the worst possible time but can be an opportunity for honest discussion about the relationship you are in.

That relationship needs to be acknowledged, and the Time Line provides a valuable chance for personal growth because it is through our relationships we get to see and understand ourselves.

Guys, make it easier on yourselves. Hire and watch the Mel Gibson movie "What Women Want" solo.

And keep an eye on the calender.

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